Ashleigh is ( hella bored )

wtf.

2006-10-04T02:26:49Z

holy crap.
i miss this thing.
wth.

WE ARE ALL TO BLAME.

2006-08-11T17:10:02Z

This world today makes me angry and frustrated.
What the fuck is it coming to?
It is so damaged and raw.
Full of hate
&
WE ARE ALL TO BLAME.
We turn our backs on the children of the world.
Let the media encourage us and our sins.
Ignorance is not bliss.
It is a flaw far from beautiful.
WE ARE ALL TO BLAME.
We only recognize people's differences.
We label and discriminate against them.
Freedom of speech
Is that what we call this?
I call it fucking arrogance.
DISCRIMINATION.
WE ARE ALL TO BLAME.
Generation after generation
this world faces more poverty.
Children are dying from starvation
and from being overworked.
BUT
these are not our children.
So why, pity. Right?
WRONG.
They are not dirt.
They are human.
Poverty should be treated like a tragedy.
Not a human condition that we can do nothing about.
WE ARE ALL TO BLAME.
rape.
violence.
and racism.
expect it.
drug abuse.
child abuse.
And you wonder why kids are bringing guns to school?
We are all children of war, pain and suffering.
We see it everyday
on the news
in the movies.
THIS IS REAL.
AIDS has become more than a sexually transmitted disease.
fact:
"every minute a CHILD dies from AIDS".

We are black, white, brown, yellow.
but we are also the human race.
not some fucking label.

We all have the freedom of speech.
We all have the freedom to make a difference
no matter the colour of our skin
or the amount of money we make
or our sexuality
or our religion.
SO
why not speak up for the children and women who can not?
Don't wear some stupid message.
DON'T BE IGNORANT.

STOP POVERTY
STOP VIOLENCE
STOP RACISM AND PREJUDICE
STOP AIDS/HIV
STOP RAPE

MAKE A DIFFERENCE.
I DARE YOU.

gunsmokexxx @ 2006-07-22T22:30:00

2006-07-23T05:31:40Z

rainy days make me feel more at home.

no. i am just lonely.

gunsmokexxx @ 2006-07-21T13:40:00

2006-07-21T20:42:26Z

why do people let such little things ruin such pleasent days?

mostly i'm a hypocrite.

but i swear to god. people are so fucking whacked these days.

i don't know what i am talking about

i just read an article about global warming and how it's become more severe these past years. i love polar bears.

i don't want them to go extinct.

LET'S SAVE THE POLAR BEARS.

gunsmokexxx @ 2006-06-24T05:31:00

2006-06-24T12:35:40Z

I'm so stupid. I should have know. I should have said, " Ashleigh, he's no different" but I'm foolish and niave and I'm always late at learning the hardest lessons.
Summer is going to be time for me to figure out who I am and what it is I want out of life.
I don't want no new homies, fuck buddies, soul mate, summer fling. Nothing.

The story of my life:

My heart is not your fucking pinata or your hacky sack. You can't just fucking kick it around and stomp on it.
But you do.
If you're coming around here to "love" me, take your shit else where.
aShLeIgHlYNnE

GOODNIGHT AND GO!

2006-06-18T19:12:20Z

I'm trying to figure out why people do some of the things they do.
Why people just get up and leave
Without saying goodbye.
I just don't have the answers.
I try so hard to please everyone
Keep everyone content
but they let me down...
Maybe I'm just getting it all wrong.
Maybe I'm mentally dyslexic and have it all backwards.
Man, I wish life could just be lived backwards..
Then you'd get heartbreak first..
And die,
In love.

Don't leave me, please.
I need you here...

LISTEN TO MARS VOLTA.

2006-06-13T23:01:39Z

BOYFRIEND APPLICATION.

2006-06-13T22:28:52Z

Copy and past, then email it back to me. gunsmokeshewrote_123@hotmail.com
If you only have mean things to say, don't bother filling it out. I made this up myself!!

Multiple Choice:

What song would you sarranade me with?

a. Maybe I'm Amazed by Paul Mccartney
b. I Miss You by Incubus
c. Superman by Eminem
d. Curious by Bobby Valentino and Lil Wayne

If we were dating and I accidently fell asleep at your house what would you do?

a.Wake me up with a kiss
b.Put a blanket over me
c.Nothing, I would just let you lie there
d.baby, you'd never fall alseep with the things i could do :P

If we were dating and I called you at 3am because I wanted to talk to you, what would you do?
A.Not answer the phone because you are tired
B.Answer the phone with a attitude
C.Answer the phone, talk for a little, then tell me you are really tired
D.Start talking to me

If you wanted to break up with me, how would you do it?
a. beat around the bush
b. tell me to my face
c. over msn/the phone
d. just cheat on me

If you saw a guy talking to me, and he was a little bit too close, what would you do?

a. kill him!
b. tell him to back off his girl
c. who cares? your girlfriend has the right to talk to other dudeszzz
d. oh sorry, i was too busy talking to a nice lady myself

QUESTIONS:
Whats your name, age, and location?

Do you drink/smoke?

Do you like to party hard? or just get togethers? or NOT AT ALL?

What do your hobbies incude?

How many girlfriends have you had?

What 3 things do you find the hottest about yourself ( inside or out!!!! )?

What are your future goals for you life?

If we started dating what do you hope to get out of this relationship?

How many sexual parnters have you had ( OPTIONAL :) )?

What type of music do u enjoy listening to?

What type of girls do you usually go for?

What kind of a relationship are you looking for? Short term, long term, some fun???

:):)

gunsmokexxx @ 2006-06-13T14:43:00

2006-06-13T21:45:11Z

I would never put a paten on any form of sympathy because talk is cheap

and words taste horrible to me.

I will never be rich.

I will never be pretty or innocent.

but a long time ago, I was all and you loved me for that,

did you not?

I will never laugh so sweetly at your jokes that never made sense to me.

Instead I will roll my eyes and say;

“Here we go again”

Something I’ve always wanted to say to you

and secretly to your face.

So blush and say sorry

and I will pretend that it does not bother me.

When everything you do, hurts.

Your words have floated up to the surface

and I am reading between the lines.

Isn’t this what you’ve always wanted?

to see that you’re the reason why I cry.

and you said you’d catch my fall

but you didn’t.

You said you’d be there

but you weren’t.

And this boy has a funny way of keeping me

on the edge of my seat

and for the first time, I really see him.

But he doesn’t see me

and he’s everything I could ask for

he’s so perfect.

A perfect form

in a perfect place

at a perfect time

but I..

I am not.

My Last Words of [ Insecurity ]

I am nothing special.

I’d like to say; ‘this too, shall pass’

But will it?

Will I ever be anything to anyone?

Will I ever be pretty to anyone?

I will never have the place in the heart of someone so in love with me again.

All I do is push people away.

With shyness

and silence.

P.S Everything in my journal is written by me. Anything that I post that is written by somebody else will have their name on it. I won’t be posting much of other people’s work since this is my journal but there are some lyrics. I would REALLY appreciate it, if you’d ask me before you steal my poems/words and label them your own. However, even if you do ask me, I will say no. So, get over it. Get a pen and a piece of paper, use your own fucking head, and learn to write. Everyone has it in them. Thank-you for your time.

1111111111111111

2006-06-05T21:53:15Z

I sleep walk through most of my days

and I am waiting for someone to wake me up

and whisper, sweetly in my ear;

“shhh.. now..shh...it was all just a dream”

And I will cry and they will restrain me

and I will calm down

because it’s all over now

It’s all over...

I’m always late.

Late for everything and anything that is important or matters in life.

And people have gotten tired of constantly having to wait.

It gets awful tiresome waiting for someone to make up their mind.

I want to find someone who will wait for me.

Someone who will push aside my clumsiness

and excuse the fact that I am not good with words.

I have such a queer way of explaining myself

and I want for someone to accept that

but I am constantly giving forth so much of myself

and getting so little in return.

I want someone to love me for me.

I was made a fool again but this time the shame is on me.

I should have known he wasn’t worth a second glance.

I need to try and make sense of the fact that there are no such things as happy endings because fairytale romances are only childhood illusions we carry with us till our older years because confrontation with reality frightens us.

I need to understand that there is beauty in everything and stop believing so much in love because no matter how close I get to it, it’s all just an illusion.

I wish I could understand my own theories, comprehend my own lessons, learn from my own mistakes but I am so horribly stubburn.

I keep reaching for people that aren’t there, things that don’t exist, emotions that are all make-believe.

When will I ever learn?

How far does my heart have to break before I grow up and stop dreaming childhood happy endings?

When will I ever learn?

3 AM Poetry

“Love, Question mark”

Tear these thoughts

right out of my head

say to me

you love me

and I will simply bite my tongue

and modestly whisper

“of coarse, dear

I am in love with you”

I am at great risk of heartbreak.

I am happy.

gunsmokexxx @ 2006-06-04T14:54:00

2006-06-04T21:55:17Z

You:

You've been the only thing that's right in all I've done.

I can barely look at you now.

And I don't know how to be brave.

Every word I'd like to say to you would just be false, mustered up courage

because really I have so much to say and so little time to say it all.

I know, I am too late.

Whenever I am alone with you, you've got me collecting all the fragile reasons why I've fallen for you,

but you just say they are flaws that are simply not worth my time.

And all your friends, they're always calling your name

but it's just not the same.

Whatever happened to all that makes you happy?

I've become so necsient to the saying

"I just want to be friends"

and the more you repeat yourself, the more I begin to see this is so normal for you.

And I'd like to tell you she's real pretty

but it is a nepotism I cannot confess

because I want it to be my heart over hers.

So many robust feelings I have for you

everyday I am forced to fake.

And the nights I spent with you complaining you were not mine

Have become so clear and so postulate.

Just friends.

Allow me to conjure up the strength to tell you;

I care, that I want more and more..

And you may just roll your eyes and say;

"Such a sarcastic, rigmarole speech"

but I will mean every word.

You don't need to give me an explanation.

I know exactly what you mean.

Finally it's become so clear to me.

( So I'll bite my lip in vain and end it quick with good riddance and a word of advice

and I'll give up on my pride.

I am only trying to be nice )

You've become someone I cannot comprehend, my friend.

And we're at such a state of being young

we've become so oblivious to the other's feelings.

Do you see this too?

My heart is held loosely in your hands

and you're too vigorous to understand.

No. You're right;

Nothing's the same.

I like to pretend my modesty charms you,

but I see you don't fit as properly as you look.

And I've been such a good citizen, as I have a friend

but the circumstances are misplaced in the puzzle of time.

I've been so naive..

So be unkind and reckless.

I'll feel safer tomorrow.

I will not be made a fool

or a coward

or a robot.

I will admire in the shadows and not in public.

Your face is so much more lovely when you understand that you don't know.

Let's face it;

this is never what you wanted.

And she's beautiful.

You both deserve each other's happiness

and I will watch you change, unrecognizable friend.

We'll be strangers as all start out

but if I ever forget your laugh

I am sure you'll remind me what it sounds like.

Emptiness will drown in our conversations

but at least I know you're satisfied.

Oh, the things we do to hold in our tears;

a deceptive appearance of happiness.

Your heart is cold

but your vanity is distracting

take my hand

take my heart

take my thoughts

your modesty

is camouflaged

you're taking all the boys up

on every dare.

you've rolled the dice

twice

and you're keeping all the

unlucky numbers.

"such cliches",

you say

you say.

These Kids Are Deprived of REAL Music

2006-06-04T18:20:51Z

Download:
Kimya Dawson
M.I.A
Morrissey
Pretty Girls Make Graves
The Morning After Girls
Pharrell
KT Tunstall
Blood Brothers
Broken Social Scene
Metric
Bloc Party
Giant Drag
Eazy E

STOP FUCKING DOWNLOADING:
50 Cent
Coheed and Cambria
Mariah Carey
The All American Rejects

Pretty Good [ Mainstream Bands]
Fall Out Boy
City and Colour
Death Cab For Cutie
BrightEyes
Arctic Monkeys

NEVER download:
Pussy Cat Dolls

Anthems Of A Seventeen Year Old Girl by Broken Social Scene

2006-06-04T18:06:16Z

Used to be one of the rotten ones and I liked you for that
Used to be one of the rotten ones and I liked you for that
Used to be one of the rotten ones and I liked you for that

Now you're all gone got your make-up on and you're not coming back
Can't you come back?

Used to be one of the rotten ones and I liked you for that
Used to be one of the rotten ones and I liked you for that
Used to be one of the rotten ones and I liked you for that

Now you're all gone got your makeup on and you're not coming back

Bleaching your teeth, smiling flash, talking trash, under your breath
Bleaching your teeth, smiling flash, talking trash, under your breath
Bleaching your teeth, smiling flash, talking trash, under your breath
Bleaching your teeth, smiling flash, talking trash, under my window

Park that car, drop that phone, sleep on the floor, dream about me
Park that car, drop that phone, sleep on the floor, dream about me
Park that car, drop that phone, sleep on the floor, dream about me
Park that car, drop that phone, sleep on the floor, dream about me
Park that car, drop that phone, sleep on the floor, dream about me
Park that car, drop that phone, sleep on the floor, dream about me
Park that car, drop that phone, sleep on the floor, dream about me
Park that car, drop that phone, sleep on the floor, dream about me
Park that car, drop that phone, sleep on the floor, dream about me
Park that car, drop that phone, sleep on the floor, dream about me
Park that car, drop that phone, sleep on the floor, dream about me
Park that car, drop that phone, sleep on the floor, dream about me
Park that car, drop that phone, sleep on the floor, dream about me

Park that car, drop that phone
Park that car, drop that phone (dream about me)
Park that car, drop that phone
Park that car, drop that phone (dream about me)
Park that car, drop that phone

Used to be one of the rotten ones and I liked you for that
Now you're all gone got your makeup on and you're not coming back

gunsmokexxx @ 2006-06-04T10:59:00

2006-06-04T18:01:00Z

gunsmokexxx @ 2006-06-02T07:04:00

2006-06-02T14:04:53Z

I hate hate hate..when i allow the littlest things to ruin my day. like getting on my trampoline, right after it rains and my butt gets all wet. or my oreo slipping out of my hands and falling into my milk. freaking sucks.

or.. when the guy you like says something so stupid, you think "well, wow..he's just an idiot."

life sucks sometimes. doesnt it? you kinda just gotta deal..

"You broke my heart, man. Oh, you didn't know?"

2006-06-02T13:44:01Z

All things in life that seem to be the most simple, turn out to be the most complicated.
I never thought that I would be able to look myself in the eye everyday and tell myself these lies that I do.
When I wake up in the morning somedays, I ask myself;
Who are you going to be today, and for whom?
It's because I don't know how to be true to myself.
I don't know how to let people in and see the real me.
I am so afraid of having my heart broken.
My life just passing by..
It's been so long since I've showed who I really am.
But life is complicated like that.
No one ever really knows what they want or need in order to be fufilled and content in their days, their lives.
I keep thinking it's so easy to just change, so easy to be happy.
Except when you've no will left, you cannot very well help yourself
and you damn sure will not succomb to anyone's efforts.

Cold and lonely
I know
this is exactly how you feel

When you try to see
then you'll know;
I never claimed
to hate you.

Shout out
Scream,
if it's all you have left
if it's what you really need.

And on the other side of the world,
I will hear you
and laugh to myself

and tell you;
nothing lasts.

when you're cold and lonely, baby:
nothing lasts.

Either I can live my life exactly how it was planned or I can keep breaking the rules; like I have been lately.
I can either hurt now or hurt later.

My heart occupies 80% of my mind.
It over powers my thoughts, so I am constantly doing what I think is best,
but sometimes what's best isn't always the most logical.
Therefore, I am constantly waking up lonely and disliking the person I am..
It's always such a momentary thing though, because my mind is constantly relying on other sources to make itself up.
It is not good at making choices and is always concerned with matters of consequence.
But never warns me till I make the frightening mistakes I do.

If I were to suddenly go deaf and dumb
would people still speak to me with such lovely words in such a beautiful tone
and would I still smile
and fall in love with "hello"?

gunsmokexxx @ 2006-05-28T11:10:00

2006-05-28T18:20:17Z

They say I am the one who caused such a heartbreak
but in Reality, all I do is think of him.
( I will never love another so sweetly )
No screams. No cries. No goodbyes.
Just the horrible, lonely feeling of his absence.
The heart doesn't always grow fonder, but mine did.
It would burst with such sad secrets, if it was not writting them down.

Thought of him keep coming into my mind throughout my day and I've realized it's because I have nothing else to hold so tightly onto.
Nothing else but barely vivid memories of a non exsistant love to hold in my hands
and in my heart.
My heart that had once been so niave and so weak is now rarely bright. It escapes from any beauty of light
because it is so afraid of heartbreak.
It is still chasing the past, the past it never really had.

I don't even know myself anymore.
I never really did
and today is not the right day to try.

Why am I so wrapped up in my own pain?
I wish I could just laugh at these words of mine.
That's what I want;
I want to have an awful day, like the ones I've been having
and think of them and smile
even if my whole world is falling apart.

I want to meet a stranger who loves life so much
that he does not understand or even see my own pain.
A stranger who falls in love with me
because he has the slightest bit if hope that I will be content enough in my own skin
and in my own heart
to return the favor.

But this stranger I have explained to you
I am so envious of
in my life right now.

Someday I want to be like them.
The people I am jealous of.
The carefree livers of life whome appreciate everyday
and do the best they can to savor every damn second

and someday
someday, I will.

a [sad ] unsent letter.

2006-05-15T22:48:53Z

my love:
it's been so long.
i've silenced myself
until now.
i miss you.
( i will say that so
many times in this letter
until you understand, you see )
no one
ever
loved me like you once did.
no one
ever
made me smile
so much.
or filled my heart
so full with such a love.
no one ever taught me
all those beautiful things
about faith
and friendship
and laughter.
i miss your laughter.
i want to ask you
"why not me?"
but i know
you'll only answer in short
because you'll have a hard time
explaining yourself
you always did..
and i havent seen you
in so long
i fear i'm starting to forget
the best parts of you
that i once knew
so well.
that i might
not ever know or understand again
i miss you
and i know that it is my fault
that we are complete strangers now
and nothing i could ever say
will bring you back
or bring us back
to where we once were
so beautiful
and i was too blind
and too afraid
to just say so.
'cause that's one thing we both could agree on.
please hear me out
i really can understand
if you say
"i don't want to talk to you"
i miss you.

about a boy

2006-05-15T02:21:58Z

i met a boy last night.
he came to danielle's house to party with us.
and he's really cute.
and shy.
and he listens to broken social scene and kanye west.
and we talked about music and everything and got high.
and i thought he was so cute.
his name is pat.
and he has a nice smile.
AND HE'S FUNNY!
FUNNY!
yes!
i love those funny guys.
and he's tall...
when i first saw him i thought he was emo.
but he's not.
he only listens to city and colour.
sometimes.
and he plays the keyboard.
and the drums.

<3

but i like being single.
and love..
or anything close to it
is such a scary concept.

somebody's gettin' on mah nervez!

2006-05-11T19:09:39Z

I get really tired of the same people.
People just get on my nerves easily.
And I'm too nice to tell them the truth.
So I bite my tongue and thinking bitchy thoughts.

Danielle dyed my hair today.
I like it.
I hope I don't look emo.

gunsmokexxx @ 2006-05-10T15:46:00

2006-05-10T22:54:26Z

I was sick again today. It kind of sucks. I hate school but I hate being stuck at home with nothing to do but listen to the same tracks over and over again. I think I'm going to make my father buy me an Ipod, because I'm hardcore enough to steal music from all my favourite artists. No, I just need one. I can bum them off freshmens forever.

Cody wants me to go to the Fall Out Boy show with him on Saturday. He says his Aunt lives around there and we can get crunk before the show and go in her hottub because apparently she lives in some McMansion. Which is hip and all. I kind of like Cody. It's hard because he's friends with my brother so I know him more like a brother. If that makes any sense. I've always had a crush on him and he was the only guy that wasn't scared to talk to me after Cory and I broke up. And he actually talked to me and even though I was drunk 80% of the time, I enjoyed it because he's really nice and really funny.

On Tuesday, I skipped Law class and watched 3 natives put a native pride flag in a tree. The looks on Mrs. Alho's and Mr. Aire's faces were priceless. It's ironic how life works, I bet if they could get their hands on a white power flag it'd be up in a tree right now. Mr. Boardman saw me after lunch too. I tried to go unnoticed but I was shoving half a cookie in my mouth and laugh at the same time so I guess he saw me and smiled at me and I tried to look as innocent as possible. I won't get in trouble though because my mom talked to him not to long ago, and she told him what I've been going through.. and people sympathize too easily. And I hate empathy and I hate when people fake it even more.

This entry is really random because I drank a lot of energy today to get my mind off, how ill I feel and those two cute *NEW* guys I've been thinking about and how my father is trying really, really hard to get me into music and my internship at a recording studio and how I told him I want to model and he said it's sinful. What Daddy doesn't know isn't going to hurt him.

OMGZ! SHE'S NOT DEAD!

2006-05-09T23:12:08Z

KHIA LYRICS

"Jealous Girls"

J-j-jealous, J-j-jealous
J-j-jealous, J-j-jealous
J-j-jealous, J-j-jealous
J-j-jealous, J-j-j-ealous
I'm a bad ass bitch
And let you know I ain't with that bullshit
You get me wrong I'ma go off in this bitch
His shit, your shiy, y'all shit
Cause all I'm trying to do is keep it real
And let you broads really know how I feel
I'm not askin, I'm demanding for respect
Bitch, respect me when I come through
I'm looking good tan skin wit my crew
And brush you off cause you flaw who you
Tryin to see trust the speed girl you weak
Do your thang its your thang don't be scared
The men I got the men you don't, I'm not to blame
The style I got the style you know I'm onto you
Cause you's a hoe, a jealous hoe, you know it too
[CHORUS]
Now you hoes don't be about shit (j-j-jealous,j-j-jealous)
You punk ass hoes always worried 'bout a bitch (j-j-jealous, j-j-jealous)
You type of hoes ain't gon never have shit (j-j-jealous, j-j-jealous)
All weak ass hoes always worried 'bout a bitch (j-j-jealous, j-j-jealous)
(Them jealous girls)
Jealous girl and you know it too
You arguing with your man fighting about me boo
If he ain't home you call him swearin' he's wit me
And yes he is, we in jacuzzis and the baddest suites
You breakin' bread givin' head and you hatin' me
I'm looking good representing while you hating me
Hate your man he the dog and he dogging you
I'm getting mine let if fly out your mind your boo
Get it right don't be jealous hating plotting on me
Its your man you leave the dip if you ain't want it to be
With his games and his lies got you jealous of me
Got you walk right by late night to see
His car parked outside, done blowed ya high
Got you fucking up the shit got you wanting to fight
Pimp when I turn em loose you grow jealous of me
Wondering what it is I'm doing why he wanting to leave
[CHORUS]
Now you hoes don't be about shit (j-j-jealous,j-j-jealous)
You punk ass hoes always worried 'bout a bitch (j-j-jealous, j-j-jealous)
You type of hoes ain't gon never have shit (j-j-jealous, j-j-jealous)
All weak ass hoes always worried 'bout a bitch (j-j-jealous, j-j-jealous)
(Them jealous girls)
Bitches think I wonder woman wanna holla to this
How else the fresh young single I'm the baddest bitch
Its mine all the time y'all be losing your mind
Trying to find out what I'm doing know the place and the time
Get a life dumb bitch why you worry about me
Get your own shit bitch I hear you plotting on me
My shit's together got it all never takin the fall
Air time much love trying to word it all
[CHORUS]
Now you hoes don't be about shit (j-j-jealous,j-j-jealous)
You punk ass hoes always worried 'bout a bitch (j-j-jealous, j-j-jealous)
You type of hoes ain't gon never have shit (j-j-jealous, j-j-jealous)
All weak ass hoes always worried 'bout a bitch (j-j-jealous, j-j-jealous)
(Them Jealous girls)
[CHORUS]
Now you hoes don't be about shit (j-j-jealous,j-j-jealous)
You punk ass hoes always worried 'bout a bitch (j-j-jealous, j-j-jealous)
You type of hoes ain't gon never have shit (j-j-jealous, j-j-jealous)
All weak ass hoes always worried 'bout a bitch (j-j-jealous, j-j-jealous)
(Them jealous girls)
J-j-jealous, J-j-jealous
J-j-jealous, J-j-jealous

Who am I? Why am I here? Why the fuck am I so damn stubburn about reality?

2006-05-09T00:25:40Z

I watch all these "reality" TV shows and I think "That's not realistic at all. Reality is so much more far stretched and fucked up than that". And it's true.
In the past 3 years of my life, I've learned that 'Live fast, Stay pretty' isn't all what it's cracked up to be and all the things I thought I knew and thought were right are simply, wrong.
Reality, the future, the present, this world..it's all so scary. I will admit now, because I never would before, I am afraid. However, all of reality, life, everything, it is what it is and there are somethings that can't be changed, perhaps, never.
I'm seventeen now. I am still so young but at the end of the day I always feel like I missed so many good songs on the radio or forget to say all the right things, instead said all the wrong. At the end of the day I feel like I grew up too fast.
Is this the whole point? That feeling? When I am a grown up and frigid and lonely will I still look back at the end of the day and feel the same way?

-Ashleigh

Now for some wit ( funny quotes ):

"Let's not throw the baby out with the bath water"- Ashleigh

Ashleigh to boy on bus: What did you smoke a recess?
Boy: Huh?
Ashleigh: Let's try it this way; What kind of crack did your mother give you for breakfast?
Boy: Huh?

Ashleigh ( down the halls of CSS )
Ash: Emo detector turned on. ( turns to group of 9th graders ). DING!DING!DING!D-D-D-D..What the hells. You emosexuals broke it!

It's still in my system- Jordan

I knew it was the bus driver when a joke starts out talking about a nun, a hippi and Jesus, the bus driver had to be the one getting ass fucked!- Ashleigh

I always thought the cellphone/dildo story was an urban legand- Ashleigh

D.Dre from the dirty souff- Amanda

I went to my freezer cos I was gon' make myself some Lean Cousine. Than I says ' Screw dat, Imma make myself some chicken wing- Ashleigh/Dre

Dre to police officer: We were going to jump a fence but then we thought you'd tazer us.

Oh well, now the van has dimples- James ( Consoling Candice after she dents her parents vehicle )

Ashleigh to Amanda during a game of Truth or Dare: Truth or dare? ( thinks ) Can I phone a friend? ( turns to Amanda ) Hello, I'm playing Truth or Dare. WHICH ONE DO I PICK? TRUTH OR DARE?

Somtimes.

2006-05-08T23:16:32Z

Sometimes our most painful events that take place in our lives can turn out to be our most intimate of relationships. I look back on it all and I thought everything would go on forever. I'm really niave like that. I thought the summer would never end and I'd know, everyday, that I'd see his smile and that I would laugh with him over the silliest things.
They're all shouting my name and telling me to do this, do that, say this, say that. And I just want to be left alone.
I want to go back to that time. A time where everything was perfect and I didn't know what it was like to have to say goodbye, or to not be able to say goodbye.
Why do I always have to say goodbye to the ones I love?
My grandfather is really sick. He has cancer and he is getting surgery on Thursday. They're not sure if he is going to make it or not. I like to pretend that everything will be okay, but I know how it always goes.